RPG Transfer

by Julie Whitefeather

Let’s start this article with a quote from none other than Tobold himself. You know him, you love him, the blogger’s blogger…here it is:

“There simply isn’t any real sexuality in virtual worlds. Avatars aren’t born by a female avatar having sex with a male avatar. Any perceived sexuality in virtual worlds is just a projection from the real world. Attaching bunny ears to an avatar in WoW, or running around as a fairy in Free Realms, is very rarely an expression of sexual preference, it is just an element of gameplay.” - Tobold

So let’s look at this shall we? Let’s think about that statement. Why? - Because it seems to be an increasingly commonplace attitude.

“…it is just an element of game play.”

It is with this in mind that we here at No Prisoners, No Mercy present to you our first GARRALOUS GAMEPLAY AWARDS -

These awards are given out whenever we darn well please and are awarded to those loquacious developers and producers of games, who have prattled on endlessly, producing little more than meaningless tripe at best - and worthless, wanton, wastage at worst. Whenever we bring you these awards we will strive to bring you those games with “Elements of Game play” that amount to little more than a canker source on the posterior of humanity.

…In other words, sheer, unadulterated, unmitigated, unjustified CRAP.

And so, without further ado we present to you the nominees. The nominees are:

The Rape Game…here is a description of the game from “Telegraph.co.uk”:

“In Rapelay, gamers direct a character to sexually assault a mother and her two young daughters at an underground station, before raping any of a selection female characters. The game was intended for release just in Japan, but was on offer to British buyers through Amazon Marketplace, the section of the online store’s website open to third-party sellers. But Amazon has now withdrawn the game after complaints from users, deeming it to be inappropriate. “We determined that we did not want to be selling this particular item,” a spokeswoman said. Rapelay was developed by the Japanese production house Illusion, which makes a number of sexually violent games for the domestic market. Their other titles include “Battle Raper” and “Artificial Girl”.”

And in a move that amounts to what the French would call the “piece de resistance” is a word from the company that plagued humanity with it existence:

“A spokesman for the company said: “�We believe there is no problem with the software, which has cleared the domestic ratings of an ethics watchdog body.’”

So - let me guess. The “ethics watchdog body” was headed up by Larry Flint, publisher of the paramount of respect for the feminine persuasion “Hustler Magazine”?

The second nominee is none other than that independently produced masterpiece - that paragon of sensitivity - “Super Columbine Massacre RPG” by Danny Ledonne:

Here is a bit about this masterpiece by MSNBC:

Danny Ledonne has been called a “disgusting and sick individual,” a “monster” and the “Antichrist.” The press has grilled him for three years running. His life has been threatened multiple times. Ledonne’s offense? He made a video game… “Super Columbine Massacre RPG” - a free computer game that lets players step into the black boots of the two teens who gunned down dozens of their fellow students at Columbine High School. Released on the sixth anniversary of the massacre, the game presents players with a low-res gaming experience that uses material culled from Eric Harris’ and Dylan Klebold’s own words, media reports and police documents.” - MSNBC.com

And last, but certainly not least - the game play element that, admittedly, has my own panties in a planet sized twist - none other than Activision/Blizzards “Easter Quest”…

Shake your bunny maker!!!

So while the good folks at Activision/Blizzard are busy telling me to “shake my bunny maker” perhaps I will share with our good listeners some of the other titles I considered, all inspired by this quest.

“Confession is good for the soul - and I will need it when I am done
writing this article”

That one was good but it was too long. Another was the following:

Know thyself - in the biblical sense

A Woody Allen line, but I thought the reference was too obscure. I also considered, “Go pound sand so I can pound your head in while you do it.” In the end I decided to be straight forward. I thought back to the thesis I wrote for my first master’s degree; the title was almost as long as the thesis. So here is where I came up with the title…

- That I have been forbidden from sharing with you.

Suffice it to say that the scurrilous title would have wilted a steel rose and leave it at that.

But what, you may ask, has me filled with such ire? What has generated so much angst? Here is an excerpt from an article I found about the quest:

“Recently, Noblegarden (formerly a day-long event) was extended to a week, and numerous achievements related to it were added to the game. Most are pretty banal (eat 100 chocolates!), a few are cute (find a rabbit a suitable mating companion,) and one is unconscionable: Shake Your Bunny-Maker.

How this works: In the course of participating in Noblegarden, the player will receive an item that will cause bunny ears to sprout from the head of any one player the character chooses that’s in close proximity to them. The achievement is gained by doing this to female characters only of all playable races. Combined with the title of the
achievement, it’s a pretty unsubtle reference to Playboy. As an additional attempt to be cute, a side requirement is that the character be at least 18th level. (18th level = 18 years old. Get it? Hilarious!)” [Source]

And here is how I “discovered” the quest:

Yesterday I finally tried arenas in WoW (again). This time on my hunter with Fran who has a death knight. It was a dismal failure. I was teetering on the fence about wow to begin with but it wasn’t the arena that tipped the scales…
It was the bunny ears…

I was running toward the arena on my troll and found “bunny ears” on my head. This is the one time I wished I could attack another player in WoW in Darnasus. Why?

SO I COULD POUND THE BASTARD INTO THE DIRT THATS WHY…

Followed closely by dev at Blizzard who created this quest.

Shake your WHAT maker?

But wait, my regular readers and listeners may say. Isn’t this the same person who regularly calls Rob Pardo “The Man?”

You bet I am. And now that I have the angry nun ruler out, let’s sharpen the edge. Why have I heaped this particular quest in with such infamous games as the other two? Because this is quest isn’t just about cute little bunny ears, baskets full of Easter Eggs, and chocolate. It’s about demeaning women in the basest way. My ire isn’t leveled at this quest simply because it brings the creative minds at Blizzard down into the toilet right along with the scatological humor that is usually the sole prerogative of our nation’s sophomoric minds. I am especially angry because it wraps up degrading, bigoted attitudes that are a throwback to an era when the “N-Word” was acceptable when applied to an individual with skin darker than the speaker’s own. It is presented wrapped up in Easter Eggs, and rabbits and game play so impressionable minds will think that the attitude is acceptable.

And it isn’t. To be blunt a bigot is still a bigot. And the developer who created this quest is not just a bigot, but a conniving one.

As anyone who has ever listened to the No Prisoners, No Mercy show or read any of my articles knows, I am a firm believer in what I have always said…anyone who wants to lay off employees should
start with their own job.

This time I will make an exception.

Whomever the dev is that thought up this charming little quest should be fired for it, or in the very least keel hauled.

But tell us Julie…how do you really feel?

See you online,
- Julie Whitefeather